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Queen of GothEva O's TestimonyMarch 6, 1997
"As a child I was pretty with drawn which kept me from excelling in school. There was one thing that caught my attention and that was this new guitar class they had when I was in 3rd grade. I went home and asked if I could have a guitar, I wanted to learn to play. So my father got me a acoustic guitar. I found out soon enough that there was a problem. I wasn't strong enough to carry it every day to school. So I quit and went to school blind sighted, with no ambition. At school my brain would wonder and as I grew I started to get angry and tired of being the out cast. I couldn't take being humiliated anymore. And finally I lashed out and had my first fight in 6th grade. From that point on I started to spiral down. I was a quite girl, than I became an angry girl. I fought with anyone who pushed me around boy or girl. I started smoking pot and experimenting with drugs and sex. I would rarely attend school. I hated people and the game that you had to play to have friends. I got pregnant at 15 and got an abortion this was painful to my soul. I had become very depressed and all I would do is lock my self in my room and play the guitar this is how I learned how to play. I played acoustic until my mom bought me an electric guitar from the hock shop it was only $29. I learned my first bar chord and that was it. My hero's were Cat Stevens, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck and Toni Iommi ( from black Sabbath). I thought when I turned 18 I would move to New York and be a rock star. I love New York but I ended up in Los Angeles and everything from then till now just happened no plan I just let it happen. You know, God had his hand on me through it all I was protected through some scary times and some very dangerous situations. He was there when I was loving Satan. He was waiting so patiently for me to turn around. I had a band called Speed Queens and we played a lot, it was an all girl punk band in 1980-1982. Than I started a band called the Super Heroines. The singer and drummer in my other band ( The Speed Queens) were more into partying than taking this music serious. I was to serious, music was my God. I kept the bassist and looked for a drummer and started the Super Heroines. While in the Super Heroines I met Rozz Williams and him and his friend Ron Athey moved in. We made a home of hell, L.S.D trips and darkness 24 hours a day. Rozz and I were recording our first records at the same time. He had me sing backing vocals for him on Only Theater of Pain, then after the record was released, he lost Rick Agnew as guitar player and asked me if I would play a few shows with him. Then as the years pasted I did play on and off with Christian Death. |
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In 1988 Rozz asked me to marry him and I did and we moved to San Francisco we started Shadow Project and this was our baby. Others had roles in it but it solely was created by us. Not just Rozz not just Eva, but both our blood. |
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I became a Satanist, I would love the demons and would call upon them to be in me, on me and around me. When I was writing Demons Fall For An Angels Kiss, I was originally writing on the dark side and it was going to be called Angels Fall For A Demons Kiss. I started reading about angels and kept ending up with new age books. I thought that this kind of belief was so weak and silly. I wanted to read about real Angels, God’s Angels. I did an interview on a radio station and we talked about my new project, and off the air he knew I was trying to learn about angels, so he advised me to read this book called "Angels" by Billy Graham. |
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I bought it and was amazed at the facts that were in this book, and I realized
how important we are to God. I tried to share this with Rozz but we would end up fighting. I ended up accepting the
Lord. A week later I felt like a fool; I got very depressed and rejected the Lord, and told God if he was real why is this depression over me? He wouldn't make it stop. I had bouts with depression before but not as extreme. It never was like this. I was looking to kill my self. I had never been suicidal before this. |
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Then as I sat on my bed crying I felt my old demons coming on me, but this time they where stronger ones and I felt my soul was being taken from me. I was paralyzed and all I could see was perverted things; blood, death all kinds of ugly images, and I would try hard to shake my head and say stop "it's not happening," and finally I called out to Jesus and it all broke from me like glass. I saw glass breaking and after that, I saw Jesus right there in front of me, my body trembled and I couldn't speak. It felt so bright like the whole neighborhood could see this light. Oh it makes me want to cry. He is real and no one can change my mind. He has cured me of anxiety attacks. I would have them three times a week. And also from demon possession. I hadn’t had any Christians leading me to the Lord, so I had no one to answer my questions. I was alone. My walk was very hard at first. Old friends were vanishing quick. It is hard being a true Christian, a disciple of Christ and living with Him always, and it saddens me to know that people love the world more than Him and how hard it is to die to yourself.
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The few that are here in my life still are Rozz and his roommates. They love me and know that when I come over I will share what God has done to me. You know I learned quick that we can give love to each other and only God can save you. I can share his love and grace but only through his spirit can you be saved.
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We are called to share the love that God has gave us, not to judge. I do it by sharing what He has done for me and what I learn on a day by day bases. I have learned that Christians need help just as much as non Christians. It is easy to get lost in the world. We are human and it is easier to feed the flesh than it is to feed the soul, it is easier to die than to live, it is easier to be lazy than work. But we must remember the flesh will rot but the spirit is forever............................. For a more recent interview with Eva, CLICK HERE
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